Little Doll Shop Of Horrors

As the American public plunges further into the land of make believe it is no shock we are apt to bring our poor children down with us. The malleable mind of a child seems especially attractive for parents who seek an alternate reality. For those kooks who have sworn off all that is real, have the money to make this commitment a reality and use their daughters as vehicle to feed this delusional flame, may I suggest The American Girl Place. A perfect venue to perpetuate a custom made little fantasy world that in return makes you and your daughter feel more human, all the while meticulously tending to a very large, but very charming piece of rubber.

Make no mistake The American Girl Place is not just selling you a doll, and the story that is sold with each doll appears to be their specific and adventurous tale of woe. However the real story is a saga filled with endless costs, overpriced ventures, and a long winded whine that can only be silenced by the swipe of your credit card.

Upon entering The American Girl Place the air is thick with three things: consumerism, excessiveness, and the brats that fuel them both. Hats off to Mattel for coming up with this cash cow. It was lucrative enough that every over-privileged child absolutely needed the latest and greatest, now The American Girl Place has given that same nagging voice to an inanimate object. These American Girl Dolls are essentially a mini version of your daughter with a life sized version of their expensive demands.

This doll shop comes equipped with a Salon, Hospital, Theater, Photo Studio and Café, all of which have no qualms about some of their customers not possessing a heart beat. I believe the souls of The American Girl Place employees may suffer the most. Never have I seen eyes as vapid and lifeless as the woman behind the counter at the Salon surrounded by little girls yelling at them, demanding that they do not pull their doll’s hair too hard. Scenes like these do not exactly portray The American Doll ethics of politeness, or their famed hook line and sinker, 'a return to innocence.' However a more accurate depiction would be a return to sexism. The lesson taught in The American Girl Place is not how to be a girl, but how to be a woman with children. Forgive me if I fail to see the innocence in a 9 year-old single mother.

The story of each dolls character obviously aims to teach a history lesson of its own. The Native American doll, Kaya, (from 1764, has her hair in two braids and cloaked in cow fringe) is an adventurous warrior that “draws strength from her people.” Or how about Samantha from 1904, her “world is filled with frills and finery, parties and play. But Samantha sees that times are not good for everybody. That’s why she tries to make a difference in the life of her friend.” This friend being Nellie the little servant girl that lives next door that Samantha takes pity on and befriends. By far the most offensive doll is of course the one African American doll named Addy, a slave that was recently freed from her master and is just now learning how to read and write. These stories go on and on via books, movies, and even revues put on in The American Girl Place Theater. The apex of the plot is always how the girls adjust to the hard times of the past whether it be, The Great Depression or the tribulations of colonial Virginia, somehow these dolls are strong and muscle through. From these tales the pro-argument is formed. Mothers claim these dolls to be good role models for their children. However, what a spoiled little white girl can learn from a story about surviving depression and slavery is questionable. What these young girls are definitely learning, to the delight of The American Girl Place, is how to spend money. This lesson brought to them by their biggest and most immediate influence, the same people that are spending $100.00 for two matching bowling suits for their daughter and their daughter’s doll. The American Girl Place even offers a day package as if it were a spa for $280.00 a pop.

Another pro-argument used to defend little this doll shop of horrors centers around the required maintenance of the doll. The store offers a sort of refurbishing option. Moreover, if your daughter one day messes up the hair or breaks off the arm of their overpriced doll, then you can conveniently bring the doll to the Salon or the Hospital to be fixed. I have trouble even entertaining this notion because first it assumes that these kids are so crazed that they all out mangle this carefully crafted doll. There is a reason why at the age of eight I always knew never to open my mother’s antique closet. My co-worker's niece has an American Girl Doll that she only touches to change its outfit. Let’s just assume for a moment these dolls don’t exactly live the rough and tumble life of say, Tickle Me Elmo. What exactly is going to happen to this doll that a comb can’t fix.? And where does it end? Will there be an American Girl Place Battered Doll Shelter, where the dolls go for support if they are mistreated by their owners? This just in, kid’s toys break easily and that’s why you buy them cheap.

Perhaps the most unlikely victim of The American Girl Place is the children that seem to be living out their heart's desire. It is difficult to deny the pink elated face of a little girl realizing a grandiose tea party fantasy in the Café. Surely this is their dream come true beyond anything they could ever imagine. Yet this is the problem. There is no room for imagination. The tablecloth, the server, the people, the damn tea is all there, leaving them without a single thing to pretend. I challenge anyone to tell me about their childhood tea parties where they poured actual tea in the glasses for their wide array of stuffed animals and dolls. At The American Girl Place their tea parties consist of adults, dolls, a server and real drinks. While in this Café I think I actually heard the imaginations of twenty little girls dissipating out of their ears like the whistling steamy stream of a teapot.

After visiting The American Girl Place I stepped on to the street to see a homeless man sitting outside the door, freezing cold and begging for change. I wanted to ask if he knew that there were dolls inside this store that are treated better than him. If these parents of the American brats are seriously looking for a positive learning experience, why don’t they pick a real under-privileged orphan, from 2006, and take them out for a day of food, hair care, theater, and maybe by the doctor for a routine physical. This would really show these kids how to befriend the less fortunate, how to be generous and kind, and how lucky they are to be a wealthy American Girl.